DEAR ABBY: My stepdaughter has two kids. She married a person who has one little one, “Hayley.” They’ve been married 4 years, and Hayley turned 18 final yr. We’ve seen her solely 5 or 6 instances, and she or he appears bored with attending to know us.
The primary Christmas, I went out of my approach to give her items I assumed she would take pleasure in as a youngster. The following Christmas, she did not spend any time with the household, so I despatched a present residence together with her dad, however by no means heard a phrase from her.
Final yr, Hayley graduated from highschool and began working. As a result of we weren’t going to see them at Christmas, I despatched the opposite grandchildren items however didn’t embody Hayley. My stepdaughter received upset as a result of we left Hayley out. We defined that 1. She by no means acknowledges the items we ship; 2. She is now an grownup; and three. We by no means see her. Are we mistaken to not embody her? — PERPLEXED ABOUT STEPFAMILY ETIQUETTE
DEAR PERPLEXED: The reply to your query is sure and no. Hayley would not seem like a “little one” who is straightforward to like. She has actually given you no motive to. Nonetheless, within the curiosity of household concord, it was mistaken to exclude her totally. Not understanding the younger girl, it will be onerous to know what she might need favored to obtain. Subsequent yr, ship her a espresso store reward card with a candy notice so she will not really feel she is being ignored as she has ignored you.
DEAR ABBY: I am a soft-spoken particular person. I work in a medical laboratory, and I’m lastly talking up for what I consider in (after years of social anxiousness and despair). On the final assembly, when requested by the supervisor for strategies to enhance the lab workflow, I spoke up.
Quick-forward to tonight. After I expressed some pleasure about my thought, the location chief, a special supervisor, shot my thought down, saying, “It is not going to make a distinction.” This is not the primary time she has made me really feel like my concepts are dumb or that I am not clever, and I snapped. I requested her what concepts SHE had, and she or he appeared as if I offended her, however she’s accomplished this quite a few instances since she got here right here. In the meantime, she has her favourite particular person within the lab who will get away with homicide.
Was I mistaken for getting upset at her? I simply really feel like my strategies go unnoticed or are scoffed at, however when one other particular person comes up with one thing related, she applauds them. — HAD ENOUGH IN THE MIDWEST
DEAR HAD ENOUGH: Blowing up on the supervisor could have felt good in the intervening time after years of silence brought on by despair and social anxiousness, nevertheless it was the mistaken factor to do. That sort of habits doesn’t belong in knowledgeable surroundings. Favoritism occurs in lots of work environments, and it may be irritating. If you cannot discover a approach to settle for it, you may be happier working at a special lab.
TO MY MUSLIM READERS: At sunset, it’s time for the breaking of the Ramadan quick. Pleased Eid al-Fitr, everybody. — LOVE, ABBY
Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also called Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
What teenagers must learn about intercourse, medication, AIDS and getting together with friends and fogeys is in “What Each Teen Ought to Know.” Ship your identify and mailing handle, plus test or cash order for $8 (U.S. funds), to: Pricey Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Field 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Delivery and dealing with are included within the worth.)
