The Rundown is a weekly column that highlights a few of the greatest, weirdest, and most notable occasions of the week in leisure. The variety of objects might differ, as might the subject material. It is not going to at all times make a ton of sense. Some objects may not even be about leisure, to be sincere, or from this week. The essential factor is that it’s Friday, and we’re right here to have some enjoyable.
ITEM NUMBER ONE – Now we have a brawl on our palms
There’s a remake of Street Home popping out quickly. It stars Jake Gyllenhaal as a completely shredded UFC-adjacent man who takes a safety gig at a tough bar within the Florida Keys that’s owned by Jessica Williams, which is nearly as good a spot to begin as any, remake-wise. Connor McGregor is in there. Plenty of individuals punch one another within the head and/or torso. There’s an aquatic explosion or two within the trailer. It seems like a enjoyable time. Look ahead to your self.
Sadly, everybody concerned within the making of this film now hates one another very a lot. Possibly not the forged, however undoubtedly the director and the studio executives at Amazon who’re answerable for distributing it and plan to drop it as a streaming unique in March. That’s truly what the difficulty is, whether or not it will get a theatrical launch or not. It’s been a difficulty for some time. A producer obtained fired over it. Gyllenhaal and the director, Doug Liman, who additionally made the Bourne films, flew out and screened the film for Jeff Bezos on his yacht to attempt to persuade him, and sure, please cease right here and film Jake Gyllenhaal and Jeff Bezos sitting on a mega-yacht watching Street Home collectively. Only a massive fiasco all over the place.
And it seems it has reached a decision, with a giant insider-y report in Selection confirming that it’s going to not get that theatrical launch. From that report:
Simply because the maelstrom was dying down, Liman went nuclear with an open letter on Jan. 24, writing that he would boycott the movie and claiming that “Amazon has little interest in supporting cinemas.”
The missive seems to be the ultimate shot on a undertaking fraught with discord. In the end, it’s left some with a foul style. “It’s so disrespectful to everybody who labored arduous on it,” says one particular person concerned. “It’s a fantastic massive enjoyable streaming film.”
Two issues value noting right here:
- The italics within the final sentence there are theirs, not mine
- Given the whole lot that has taken place right here, it is perhaps the meanest use of italics I’ve ever seen
Oh hey. That factor within the blockquote about Liman boycotting his personal movie over this? That’s a factor that’s occurring, too. He wrote a complete open letter about it in Deadline. You may hear how offended he’s simply studying the phrases to your self in your individual head. Take a look at this.
“The details: I signed as much as make a theatrical movement image for MGM. Amazon purchased MGM. Amazon mentioned make a fantastic movie and we’ll see what occurs. I made a fantastic movie.
We made Street Home a “smash hit” – Amazon’s phrases not mine, btw. Street Home examined greater than my greatest field workplace hit, Mr. and Mrs Smith. It examined greater than Bourne Id, which spawned 4 sequels. I’m advised the press response has been Amazon’s greatest since they purchased MGM.”
It will get higher.
“As a result of opposite to their public statements, Amazon has little interest in supporting cinemas. Amazon will solely stream Street Home on Amazon’s Prime. Amazon requested me and the movie group to belief them and their public statements about supporting cinemas, after which they rotated and are utilizing Street Home to promote plumbing fixtures.”
Three notes in conclusion:
- God, that’s line on the finish, and one which possibly explains the devastating italics the Amazon govt used this week in retaliation
- This isn’t fairly the mess Coyote Vs. Acme is as a result of not less than this one is getting launched someplace, however it’s one other shot within the struggle between studios and creatives that appears to be waging in 2024
- All due respect to everybody concerned however it’s a little humorous {that a} bunch of very rich persons are going to the mattresses within the press like this over a film the place Conor McGregor headbutts individuals within the trailer
In order that’s what’s up with Street Home.
ITEM NUMBER TWO – Put Dakota Johnson on each press tour
The critiques for Madame Internet got here in earlier this week and… look. They’re not good. They’re truly very unhealthy. I haven’t seen a collective crucial pile-on like this since… I don’t know, Morbius? Go learn a bunch of them this weekend. They’re so imply. One overview I noticed in contrast the film to the Chernobyl catastrophe, which, okay, the context was about horrible incidents involving radiation and the way a radioactive spider bit the primary character on this film, however nonetheless. Individuals died in Chernobyl! Numerous them! Take into consideration how unhealthy a film must be for somebody to say that. It nearly makes me need to see it extra. That is most likely a personality flaw on my half.
There’s a silver lining in all of it, although, even with the disastrous critiques and projections: It gave us a full-on Dakota Johnson press tour. That’s not nothing. Dakota Johnson press excursions are a chaotic little treasure and, sure, we will hyperlink to the Ellen factor once more right here, as we’re obligated to do in these conditions. However she’s nonetheless out right here spinning gold. She was requested in a single interview to call the films within the MCU Spider-Man trilogy and the titles she guessed had been “Spider-Man: Right here He Comes, Spider-Man: And He’s Again, and The Goblet of Spider-Man.” That’s simply stunning.
It will get higher. Please go learn this interview she did with L’Officiel. I’m going to blockquote some highlights however I would like you to learn the entire thing. I imply, that is the very first query and reply.
MARISA MELTZER: I’ve heard you prefer to eat a popsicle whereas taking a shower.
DAKOTA JOHNSON: Have you ever completed that? It’s a wonderful exercise. A popsicle and a sizzling tub is a sensational expertise.
“A popsicle and a sizzling tub is a sensational expertise.” I believe that sentence goes to stick with me for some time.
It will get higher. Right here she is discussing the method of creating films.
I’m discovering that it’s actually f-cking bleak on this business. It’s majorly disheartening. The individuals who run streaming platforms don’t belief inventive individuals or artists to know what’s going to work, and that’s simply going to make us implode. It’s actually heartbreaking. It’s simply f-cking so arduous. It’s so arduous to get something made.
Please think about the advertising and marketing staff for Madame Internet studying this interview after presumably giving her weeks of speaking factors to hit and keep away from. They’ve greater issues on their palms now, however I believe they sighed deeply sufficient to blow out a candle.
Lastly, there was this, the place she mentioned the viral quote from earlier on this identical press tour (lol) about sleeping 14 hours a day.
I mentioned I might simply sleep 14 hours. I didn’t say that I sleep 14 hours each evening. I’ve a job. There’s no manner that I might do my job and try this. So clearly one thing is amiss with that. I do love sleeping, however I didn’t say that. I believe I’m starting to know that sarcasm doesn’t translate to journalists as of late, or embellishment. I simply should be extra literal, I assume.
Bless her. Put her on each press tour. Even ones for films she’s not in. Let her do the press tour for the following Mission: Unattainable film. Ask her about submarines. And Tom Cruise. I would like you to know that I’m very critical about this.
Anyway, should you had been nervous in any respect that this Madame Internet enterprise is attending to her an excessive amount of, properly…
The very best within the enterprise.
ITEM NUMBER THREE – Inform me extra about The John Wick Expertise
Welllllll guess what: One thing known as “The John Wick Expertise” is coming to Vegas. Which is humorous. As a result of the character arc of John Wick — his personal precise expertise, if you’ll — includes his beloved spouse dying and the pet canine she obtained him to recollect her by getting murdered by a snotty little wannabe kingpin. I hope that’s not what occurs at this factor. I hope they don’t identical to kill your partner and canine and hand you a gun. That will be unhealthy.
Company will step via the doorways of the Las Vegas Continental and into the fantastical world of the billion-plus grossing franchise films, the place they’ll navigate a excessive stakes journey in addition to go to a themed bar and retail store open to most of the people.
Okay, yeah. That sounds extra cheap.
Every group of visitors might be tasked with particular missions, taking part in out in distinctive methods with characters, mythology and iconography from the Wick universe. The adventures entail rubbing elbows with Continental employees, assassins, crime bosses, or different curious visitors like themselves inside the relative security of the Continental.
On one hand, sure, positive, certain. This looks like a factor we will do. Individuals love these films. I really like these films. Not sufficient to fly to Vegas particularly for this however, like, if I used to be already there, possibly.
However alternatively, if you’re somebody who is considering going to this, please simply know that there’ll completely, one hundred pc, be a couple of very excited dudes in line outdoors dressed like John Wick and quoting the film loads. There’s nothing flawed with that, I suppose. I’m glad these dudes are having enjoyable. However I simply need you to be ready for that earlier than you present up.
ITEM NUMBER FOUR – Rebecca Ferguson looks like a enjoyable woman
We will get out of this one in 4 bullet factors:
- This can be a video from the Dune 2 press tour the place a correspondent from Nerdist asks Rebecca Ferguson concerning the Dune popcorn bucket that went viral a couple of weeks in the past for causes the individuals who created it most likely didn’t take pleasure in
- Rebecca Ferguson looks like a particularly enjoyable particular person
- As my colleague Josh Kurp famous in our work chat, that you must hear the way in which the phrase “Googling” sounds in her British accent
- I don’t know why she has a toothpick however I help her choice right here regardless
Get her and Dakota Johnson on a podcast directly.
ITEM NUMBER FIVE – DUDE, GO WATCH BOTTOMS
I’ve been yammering about how good Bottoms is for months now, ever since I rented it on a whim one weekend final fall and proceeded to snicker for 90 minutes straight. “It’s so good!” I shouted. “It’s obtained Ayo Edebiri from The Bear in it!” I yelled. “Marshawn Lynch performs the school advisor of an all-girl highschool combat membership that two teenagers begin within the hopes of hooking up with their cheerleader crushes!” I screeched. I get excited generally.
A bunch of individuals listened to me and watched it, which was useful for each my emotional well-being and my vocal cords, however some individuals had been very adamant about holding out till they might watch it on one of many streaming companies they already pay for. Effectively, guess what: It’s streaming now. It’s on Prime Video. You may watch it without cost on the identical web site the place you buy the plumbing fixtures the Street Home guys had been yelling about.
Right here, for the document, is the official description of the film, which comes from the inventive staff of Emma Seligman and Rachel Sennot.
On this refreshingly distinctive comedy, two ladies, PJ and Josie, begin a combat membership as a technique to lose their virginities to cheerleaders. And their weird plan works! The combat membership beneficial properties traction, and shortly the preferred ladies in class are beating one another up within the identify of self-defense. However PJ and Josie discover themselves in over their heads and in want of a manner out earlier than their plan is uncovered.
And right here’s a blockquote from, uh, me, the place I attempted to elucidate how bizarre it’s.
That is the toughest half to elucidate. The closest I’ve come to getting there’s “it by some means is each an earnest film about highschool and in addition a satire of a film about highschool.” It’s bizarre. In a great way. So, like, sure, it’s a little bit “each highschool film you’ve ever seen about sexy teenagers attempting to hook up” but additionally, like, the highschool soccer hero will get served steak at lunch whereas everybody else eats slop. The lecturers and college students simply casually swear at one another. There are, like, murders and property harm and it’s all simply positive. You sort of have to simply accept the universe the film exists inside after which proceed from there.
WATCH BOTTOMS
IT’S GOOD
IT’S STREAMING
YOU HAVE NO MORE EXCUSES
THANK YOU
READER MAIL
You probably have questions on tv, films, meals, native information, climate, or no matter you need, shoot them to me at brian.grubb@uproxx.com (put “RUNDOWN” within the topic line). I’m the primary author to ever reply reader mail in a column. Don’t search for this final half.
From Sara:
I’m certain 1,000,000 individuals have despatched this to you however I should be certain you noticed Walton Goggins’ Instagram publish with Timothy Olyphant. Boyd and Raylan! I’m undecided how I might’ve reacted if I noticed the 2 of them on the sidewalk collectively like this however I believe there could be not less than just a little squealing.
Okay, to begin with, that is the Instagram publish Sara was speaking about, which you must scroll via just a little to get to the squeal-worthy picture.
However extra importantly, within the curiosity of full disclosure, I believe my response would contain just a little squealing, too.
AND NOW, THE NEWS
To England!
Dot and Carl Smith mentioned they needed to discover a new companion for Harold the donkey after his greatest pal, a goat known as Billy, died at Christmas.
They’re now assembly three new goats to see in the event that they could possibly be an ideal match.
This ought to be a actuality present.
Harold will meet two potential suiters – a pair of pygmy goats from Cambridgeshire – on Saturday.
The couple, from Bitteswell, Leicestershire, are additionally set to fulfill a nanny goat on the identical day, who might additionally be a part of the household.
THIS SHOULD BE A REALITY SHOW
The arrival of the nanny goat is just not but confirmed till the couple have a chat to his proprietor.
LET HAROLD MEET THE NANNY GOAT
I CARE ABOUT THIS SO MUCH NOW (???)
I JUST WANT HAROLD TO BE HAPPY
“Hopefully, it goes to plan. I’ve not talked about it to Harold as a result of I don’t need to disappoint him.”
HE SEEMS LIKE A SWEET BOY
Mrs Smith added: “[Harold] is a giant boy, however he’s a candy boy.”
I KNEW IT
